Christmas Eve and Jealousy

Finally. Freedom. I love the night because it’s all mine. I don’t have to share it with anyone, yet at the same time, I could share it with someone if I wanted. Well, not tonight. No, I just want to lay here in my comfy bed and write. It’s been a long day. Christmas Eve. And anyone who knows my family well enough, knows that it’s gonna be a long day when Uncle Denny comes over. Ok, he’s like the cutest thing ever and I love hanging out with him...but, just the constant nagging gets tired and you really start to wonder if you’re ever going to get to think again. But overall, it was a really nice evening. Mom cooked a mean turkey with garlic mashed potatoes (my favorite!) and green beans. Everything else, like the stuffing and yams, were store bought. But, I don’t even eat those anyway. It was only my dad, mom, Harriet, and Uncle Denny. It’s really depressing to think how small my family has gotten over the years. Aren’t families supposed to grow? I often wonder what it would be like if Grandma was still here with us, and if her death hadn’t of been the event to tear our family apart. Thinking about that just makes me miss Grandpa and Kevin even more. Apart of me died when they ran away. I hate it.

Lately Kelly has been acting weird around me. One of the hardest things about having friendships is when jealously comes into the picture. Kelly and I are rarely jealous, but it does happen from time to time. Within our group of girls, I would have to say someone is always jealous. Before Greg and I stopped dating, he would make me so happy and thus created an illusion that we had a perfect relationship. Jealously came up now and then over our “perfect relationship”. But it wasn’t perfect, and all good things come to an end anyways, right?

Oh I’m too tired to finish this post. I’ll have to get to my point on jealousy later.

xoxo nat